


Colour Me Blue

by queenoffeary



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alot of angst, Angst, Because of Reasons, Body modifications, Bullshit Science, Captured Lance, Dark!Lance, Druids being creepy fucks, F/M, Haggar's a bitch, Kinda, Langst, M/M, Not because of like sadness and depression tho, Scars, Solitary Confinement, Suicide Attempts, Team as Family, The rest of the team is v concerned, There's A Tag For That, klangst, lullabies fuck me up guys, shock therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 18:45:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17085689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenoffeary/pseuds/queenoffeary
Summary: Lance flinched when her clawed fingertips brushed hair out of his face then grabbed his chin to force him to look up at her.“We’re going to have so much fun, Little Blue” She purred. Solvol smiled at him for a moment longer before patting his cheek and standing, “Strap him to the table”.......A botched mission leaves Lance in a situation that is...less than ideal. At the mercy of the empires witch and a sadistic general his only option is to try and hold out till his team comes to rescue him. But he's losing hope and death is sounding more appealing everyday.





	1. Oh Fuck

**Author's Note:**

> So welcome to this hellfest! I started this before the s8 dropped and do feel a little bad about putting my boy through all this after that but... I'm going to anyway because I've already come this far so. 
> 
> To make up for this would anyone like a fix-it for s8? Because I have some ideas but I would like a beta for that just to help me keep plotlines straight unlike cannon.

Galra soldiers swarmed the room behind him, Lance risked looking over the control consul to count maybe 15 sentries and three galra soldiers. He pointed and shot blindly a few times until one beam got close enough to singe the skin on his hand. 

“Guy’s we could use an extraction right about now” He spoke into the comms. 

“Wait, I’ve almost got it” Pidge hissed at him. 

They had been trying to track a very large ‘shipment’ of pure quintessence for more than what he would guess was an earth month (he had yet to find a space equivalent for those) and they both knew that even backed into a corner under heavy fire, that information was worth waiting a couple more dobashes for. 

Lance fired a few more times over the consul before peeking over it again. More than thirty soldier filled the small room now. Fuck. 

“Done!” Pidge announced, “Sending you guys the download now” 

Alluras voice crackled over the comms, “Got it, but were kinda in a pinch, it'll be awhile before we can get you” 

Pidge swore next to him and began typing frantically on her computer, Lance looked over the control consul once more to find more soldiers than he could count.

You know, sometimes Lance thinks that the universe might want to give them a break- considering they want to save it and all- but then. Then the shooting stops and Lance meets eyes with Sendak, the very person who personally wants them all dead. And all that hope goes out the window. 

Pidge gasped beside him, “the vents” She whispered. Lance glanced to where she’s pointing on the computer screen, then to the corresponding wall. Indeed there is a small outline of a vent, just big enough for Pidge to fit if she took the armor off her shoulders. 

She looked at it for a moment then shook her head, “Nevermind, you won’t fit” 

Lance didn't even hesitate when he told her to get out. “Get to your lion then come get me, I can take care of myself until then” 

She looked like she wanted to argue but the pleading look he gave her must have been enough because she nodded and detached her shoulder pads. “I’m getting those back” She told him before sprinting to the vent. Lance looked back over the consul and hoped that he can draw at least some of their attention while she escapes. 

There are even more soldiers in the room now, and he breathed a sigh of relief when only a few of them fire half- assed shots at the retreating green paladin, thinking its her hologram. Before he realizes that the sentries are coming steadily closer. This isn't going to end well. He felt familiar panic gather in the pit quickly forming in his stomach. 

He risks closing his eyes for exactly three seconds. And when he opens then the soldiers are advancing on him, he fires one shot and hears a body hit the ground but by then he’s already firing another, two, three, four. He whirls on the two that went around along the walls and their cries ring in his ears louder than the gunshots. 

There's suddenly a arm around his neck, knocking his helmet off. He tries to turn back around but his blaster is knocked out of his hand and there's three more shoved in his face. The soldiers make quick work of binding his hands behind his back, then his legs when he kicks one in the stomach. 

He finds himself completely bound and being hauled through the dimly lit corridors of the ship. The situation looks...grim. He doesn't have his helmet and therefore no way to contact the team. He’s completely weaponless and was useless in hand to hand combat even if he wasn’t handcuffed. 

This was bad, this was really bad. Like death bad. Like super painful death bad. Shit. Fuck. 

He's dumped unceremoniously in a nondescript cell, in a corridor full of other nondescript cells. It was maybe ten by ten, with a bench along one wall and the door along another. The door closed behind the guards and he was left alone. 

…………..

Pidge scrambled through the vents, only pausing to glance at the route she had set when she came to a fork. She was so singularly foccessed that when the vent dumped her in an airlock she almost forgot to put her visor up before launching herself into space. 

She was spinning too fast to see anything, and her stomach dropped as she floated without control for a moment before Green caught her in her jaws. She was in the pilot's seat and switching on the comms in seconds, only giving herself enough time to clear the dizziness from her head. 

“Pidge where’s Lance?” Allura’s voice crackled through the comms. 

“I’m going to get him now, he couldn't fit through the vents” She was already turning Green towards the command room she hoped Lance was still in. 

There was a chorus of swears through the comms, “They’re preparing a jump to lightspeed” Allura explained, “We don't have much time” 

Pidge let her lion tear through the metal of the ships hull, praying that she had at least kinda the right spot and that Lance still had his helmet on. It wasn’t enough, there were too many rooms and she couldn’t just tear through the whole room, not when the rest of her team was screaming at her to get out. 

For the first time since this whole fiasco started she wished that she had a different lion, Black wouldnt have a problem, neither would Yellow. Red would just blast through everything in the kommecazi way she did and Blue... blue was next to her, tearing through the ship in a attempt to get to his paladin. 

“Pidge you need to retreat NOW” Allura was yelling. She ignored her and continued to try to physically tear apart the galra cruise ship until something lifted her up and away. Seconds later the ship was gone and Pidge was left staring at the vast expanse of space. 

She pushed Green out of what she assumed was the black lions grip and turned to the castle. Pidge barley landed before she was leaping out of the cockpit and running to the control room. 

She threw her bayard in the same motion as she grabbed her laptop. She plugged it into the main computer and threw up the communication log that she had taken along with most of the other information stored on the ship. 

“Pidge what happened?” Shiro asked, looking concerned at the code on the screen. 

“I went without him, they left with him and I’m finding out where” She scammed the lines of code, searching for coordinates, a quadrant, a solar system. Anything that might tell her where they were going. Anything that had even the slightest chance of telling them where Lance might be. 

“Anything?” Hunk asked, appearing over her other shoulder. 

“Shut up and maybe there will be” She snapped. Pidge knew it was mean but right now she wouldn't let herself feel bad, she needed to find Lance. 

One particular line stood out to her, a communication between the general on the ship they attacked and another, requesting backup. Commander Solval was her name, she had requested that they retreat into her quadrant. That's when the hyper-jump sequence had begun. Bingo. 

“Hunk, find Commander Soval in our database” She didn't look up from the screen, turning to the heading of the hyper-jump. 

There wasn't any, the command was only for the jump, no coordinates or direction. Just ‘go fast now’ . She leaned back a little in her chair. For the first time making eye contact with the rest of her team. 

They were all sweaty, and tired looking. But instead of flush with adrenaline and exertion they were pale. Shiro and Allura stood on either side of her, Hunk was standing at a control panel that held their data from all previous missions. He looked tense to say the least, hunched over the summoned keypad and typing rapidly, eyes glued to the screen. Keith was standing stock-still in the middle of the room, looking between Pidge and Hunk, he was wild eyed and poised like he could fight anything at any given moment. 

“Pidge what happened?”Keith repeated Shiro's question from earlier. 

Pidge sighed, slumping down in her chair more, “We were pinned down and the only way to escape was through the vents. He wasn't going to fit so I went and was going to get him out with Green but…” She trailed off feeling tears build behind her eyes. She scrubbed at her face before they could fall.

“I wasn’t fast enough…” She finished. 

Keith nodded, but his stiff posture didn’t change. 

“It’s not your fault” Shiro told her. 

She shook her head, “It is, I should've figured something out or been faster or stayed with him. But it’s fine, I’m going to find him right now, before they can do anything.” She didn't want to think that Lance might already be dead, he was enough of a threat to kill on sight. But she also knew that they had a little time since the galra Commanders probably couldn't make the call to execute a paladin by themselves. 

“Commander Solval is in charge of the nineteenth quadrant, primarily the planet Veopra. No inhabitants its just a mining planet of some metal ore.” Hunk called from the information panel. 

Pidge sighed, they had a name, they had a destination, they were going to fix this. 

“I hate to do this” Allura started, “But we just got out of an intense battle, it would be unwise to head into another with no information and only four tired paladins” 

Pidge whirled on her, anger in her eyes but Keith beat her to it. 

“We can’t waste time on something like this! We hesitate and it might very well be the difference between life and death for Lance!”

“I know that Keith, but I can't risk losing any more of you! You all need rest and we need a plan.” She turned as if her decision was final. 

“I agree with Keith, we know where we’re going and they're still going to be banged up from the fight that they retreated from with Lance” 

Allura sighed, hand coming to her temple as if to fight a headache, “I just dont think it’s wise…” 

“I think I have to agree with Pidge and Keith on this one Princess. They won’t be expecting us to follow them and this could be our only chance for a while to get Lance back, I can't risk not taking it.” Shiro cut her off. 

The Princess and Black paladin stared each other down for a moment before Allura deflated, “okay, but we can’t go in blind. We’ll wormhole just outside their reach then Pidge will go in with Greens cloaking while the rest of you draw their fire.” 

……

Twenty minutes later Pidge was flying Green out of the castle and towards Veopra. She had approximately ten dobashes till it was within sight, and two before she was close to enough to be detected by their sensors.

“Engaging cloaking” She said into her comms, nine dabashes away from the base. 

“Got it” Allura voice responded, “Sending the rest of the lions out now.” 

Pidge nodded, forgetting that Allura couldn’t actually see her and turned on her cloaking. 

Three dobashes away and she still isn't picking up any signals from galra ships. Which was unusual and more than a little concerning. 

One dobash and Veopra was in sight, but any galra battleships or fighters were not. Just the planet. “Guys, this might be a trap” She whispered despite there being no way anyone could hear her except her team. 

“What why?” Keith responded. 

“The planet looks...completely abandoned.” It was true, she was close enough to see the galra base settled into a valley in the planets side and there was nothing- no ships coming in or out, the large mining rigs were still and it was ...empty. 

“Get in closer, see if you can see any people” Shiro told her.

“Okay” Pidge landed Green by the base, heart pounding. She would be near undetectable as long as she was inside of Green but the moment she stepped out, she would be completely exposed. 

“I’m on the planet, it still looks abandoned but they shouldn't know I’m here” 

“Wait for the rest of us” Shiro told her, “We’ll be there in three dashes. 

The planet did look completely abandoned, absolutely nothing was moving save for an almost comical gust of wind that threw sand across the landscape. 

Still nothing moved when she saw the lions breaking through the atmosphere, and still nothing when they landed beside her. 

“Does this feel like.. Really bad to anyone else. Because it feels really bad to me.” Hunk said.

Pidge laughed nervously. 

“I say we go in there” Keith said. 

Of course he did. 

Shiro sighed, “That might be our best bet at this point.” 

Together they exited their lions and stood together in front of the base. Shiro put his metal hand against the censor and the door slid open with a hiss. Pidge gasped and held her bayard infront of her when the opening door revealed a group of willowy, nightmarish beings with long faces and sharp teeth. 

“You are not galra” one said in a raspy voice. 

“No,” Shiro was the first to drop his fighting stance, “We are the paladins of Voltron, what happened here” 

Another figure came to stand beside the first, “The galra rounded us up and locked us in here, then from we know all left, I don’t know why but they are no longer here” 

The paladins exchanged looks, all of them knowing exactly what happened, and also that they had no idea where their blue paladin was.


	2. Space bitch #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a very brief non-con type interaction here, its just kissing but reading it back made me feel icky so heres your warning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So some backround- in my version just to make things convenient lets pretend that they did switch up lions for a bit, then switched back when Shiro and Keith both came back because I feel like it.

The cell is cold, cold enough to make Lances teeth clatter and certainly isn't helping the nervous jitter that seems to have possessed his entire body. He wasn't built for the cold after all, not after growing up under the scorching Cuban sun. Even the Castle is too chilly for his tastes, but this is different.

This is cold not like air conditioning cold, but cold like one of those big storage refrigerators. And it's not at all helping him manage the panic that insists on clawing its way through his chest cavity.

Earlier there was a lot of movement, he heard soldiers and sentries running up and down the halls. Once the entire ship rocked violently- throwing him against a wall. Then everything was quite.

Lance wasn't an idiot- he knew that they were probably far-far away from his team and he would-at this point- have to either wait for them to track him down or figure out escape on his own. Shiro had done it once, with much less information and experience than Lance but…

Shiro was Shiro.

And on top of that he hadn't meant anything then, ‘a primitive scientist’ that was all. Lance was a paladin of the only weapon that could even put a dent in the emptier.

That meant that he was important, at least in the sense of logistical advantages of keeping him. He had information they could and would at least attempt to hack out of him. He also guessed that they might be pretty miffed at him- yaknow- trying to destroy their empire and all.

Lance jumped when the cell door opened revealing two galra soldiers. Lance’s heart was beating hard in his chest but he forced himself to stand up and stick out his chin in what he hoped was a defiant manner.

The soldiers didn't even look him over before grabbing him roughly by the arms and shoving him out of the cell and down the hallway. Lance thrashed and kicked all he could but their grip was strong and he wasn't getting anywhere. He knew logically that in a fight he stood no chance. H didn't have his bayard and either way was a long- range fighter. Hand to hand was Keith's thing.

He did however, make a mental list of his surroundings

-Sentries seemed to be in ⅓ of the hallways

-the hallways were labeled by floor and number

-the guards all carried a simple blaster and radio

-he already knew all these things and none of them were useful at this point

-he was fucked

Lance was shoved into a room, making him stumble over his shackled feet and land hard on his knees. Then his back was pushed towards the floor in a sort of bow- head forced down and hands tied behind his back, it was humiliating.

Someone chuckled across the room causing fresh fear to claw its way into his throat. Leaning against a metal table was a female galra, dressed in the decorated, form-fitting armor of a high ranking officer. She pushed herself off the table and walked across the table to kneel in front of him. As casually as one would a rather interesting piece of furniture.

He flinched when her clawed fingertips brushed hair out of his face then grabbed his chin to force him to look up at her.

“We’re going to have so much fun, Little Blue” She purred. She smiled at him for a moment longer before patting his cheek and standing, “Strap him to the table” She barked at the guards.

He was lifted off the floor by his arms and this time he didn't give up his thrashing, fighting with new energy given to him by the fear that he allowed for that moment to completely overwhelm him. He fought until he was on his back on the table, and straps were pulled across him.

He watched the women's press a panel in the wall which revealed a large array of pointy objects, vials of brightly colored liquid and various other objects he didn't even know what to make of.

Its okay, they’ll come for you He told himself and let the lie calm his beating heart, just bide your time till then.

The guards tightened the straps over his ankles, thighs, chest and wrists, then tilted the table the table about halfway upright before leaving the room. The door slid shut behind them.

The woman turned towards him, an unsettlingly bright smile on her face. She held up what looked like a steak knife and glanced between it and Lance, “this should work well for now don't you think?”

It’s okay you can survive this it’s okay. Lance forced down the panic in favor of a quip, “Well I’m personally more of a padded handcuffs and whips kinda guy but if you prefer those that's fine”

She cackled as she walked over to the table, a hand coming to rest on his cheek. “You’re funny Little Blue” She considered him for a moment, “Pretty too” She grinned revealing sharp canines, “I can’t wait to make you cry”

Lance laughed, “You’ve got some interesting kinks lady”

She just hummed and placed the knife against his cheekbone. He closed his eyes against the pain as it pressed into the delicate skin there. But a gasp made him open then again as the cold metal of the knife disappeared from his face.

“Oh I forgot to introduce myself, here I am about to cut you open and you don't even know my name” She shook her head and held out the hand without the knife.

“I’m Soval” She grasped his restrained hand for a moment before resuming her position with the knife placed against his cheek.

This time she pressed the tip until his skin broke around it. He felt his eyes water but refused to give her anything she wanted, especially as she dragged the knife down his face.

When he opened his eyes she was leaning back admiring the blood dripping off his jaw. She seemed to consider him for a moment before leaning back in and pressing the knife to his lower lip, drawing blood that flowed down his chin and into his mouth.

Soval placed her thumb over the cut, smearing blood until it covered his lips like rouge. She giggled, “Now you look like a whore”

It’s okay think about escape think about escape thing about…

“What would I have to do for a kiss?” She asked, licking the blood off her thumb.

“Give me a blaster and we’ll see what we can work out” Lance gritted out through clenched teeth.

She giggled again, “I like you. But considering you can’t move I think I’ll just steal one.”

She leaned back in, hands braced on either side of his head making him feel even more trained than the restraints.

It’ll be okay they’ll come for you just think about escape thing about escape it’ll be okay.

She pressed her lips to his, moving her entire body to hold his closer against the table. Lance screwed his eyes shut and continued his mantra.

They’ll come for you it’s okay it’s okay it’s okay…

She laid a hand on the uncut side of his face and he unconsciously cringed away from it. Soval pulled back with a pout, “You’re starting to get on my nerves, Little Blue.”

She picked up the knife from the counter and pulled it through the skin on his stomach, then across his shoulder, three quick, angry slashed through his chest, two slow ones down his neck.

He lost count somewhere after that, choosing instead to focus on his mantra.

They’ll come for you think about escape it'll be okay they'll come for you they'll come for you they'll come for you.

In this manor he managed to keep from crying for what seemed like forever until Soval let out a frustrated cry and stormed to the other side of the room.

He watched nervously as she turned back to him, and threw the knife.

He cried out when it buried itself to the hilt in his left thigh. Only then letting tears fall.

Lance saw Soval grin through blurry eyes. She gasped happily, a stark difference from the anger that distorted her features moments ago.

“Oh I knew you’d look so pretty” She clasped her hands in front of her chest, “See, now we’re actually getting somewhere.”

He forced the tears from his eyes, determined not to find out what this bitches idea of ‘real fun’ was.

Lance startled when the door slid open and the same guards as before stood in the doorway, “General Soval” One of them said, “There's an incoming message from high priestess Haggar. She wishes to speak with you about the blue paladin”

Soval pouted again, “Give me a moment, I’ll be right there” she said, “Well Little Blue, I guess our time is up for today. I’m very excited for our session tomorrow however”

With that she left the room, and Lance allowed himself the simple pleasure of sticking his tongue out at her retreating back.

He wasn't sure quite how long he stayed there, strapped upright to the table with the knife stuck into his thigh. Blood was sticky and drying all over his body- evident that time had passed. He figure he must’ve passed out at some point and woken again when the door slid open once more.

This time a small male galra entered, clearly ranking much lower than both Soval and the other guards he had encountered. He didn't say anything as he spread a salve over the majority of Lance’s body.

Lance hissed in pain when he pulled the knife out of his thigh and held a bandage tightly to the puncture wound.

He left quickly after that and the same guards came took him back to the cell he was dumped in before that whole ordeal began. Lance curled up in the corner, nursing aching muscles and still open wounds. He still refused to cry if only for the knowledge that what he just went through was just the beginning.

Which of course made him want to cry even more but nevertheless he laid dry-eyes on the floor, letting his mind instead wander to what he would tell his team now that he had faced his own mortality.

Because Lance watched too much fantasy back home.

He would tell Hunk how much he meant to him. How he was his best friend in the entire world and how he knew it he would be from the moment they were assigned each other back in the garrison.

He would tell Pidge that she was like the little sister he never got to have. How when he was four years old his mother had a little girl- but she was stillborn and more than once Lance had wondered if he got her back in the form of Pidge.

He would tell Allura how absolutely amazing she was. How much he wished they could have met under happier circumstances. He would tell her that she was allowed to be weak sometimes, how she wasn't supposed to fill the leader role she was thrust into so soon and how much he hoped she of all of them got a happy ending.

He would tell Shiro how much he idolized him before space, and how glad he was that he was their leader.

He would tell Coran how glad he was that he was with them because it made it feel a little less like they were just teenagers fighting a war too big and too old for them.

And he would tell Keith how the rivalry thing was dumb but he did it because otherwise Keith was so untouchable. How much he missed him while he was with the blades. How he really just wanted Keith to let him inside his walls, just for a little bit because it was clear he was struggling and if Lance could just help.

It was a dumb sentiment, Lance knew, but hey. He was probably going to die anyway so what the hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi did you notice my knife twisting with the Allura bit because yeah. 
> 
> Also the next chapter will probably be up sometime in the next week- I'm on break but that also means I'm not bored in class so we'll see. 
> 
> I live for feedback so please comment.


	3. Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team gets a message from the galra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am...not happy with this. But I'm also tired of staring at it so here ya go.

No one slept well that night, or slept at all really for that matter. Pidge sat hunched over her laptop, trying and failing to triangulate the position of the ship that had taken Lance. She was currently searching through any prisoner databases that she could get her hands on. Allura and Shiro were pouring over battle strategy and what they knew of galran prisoner protocol- which wasn't much. 

Keith was training- rather aggressively if what Hunk could hear from the training room was anything to go by. 

Coran and Hunk had cleaned the cryopods, then organized the med bay, then cleaned the kitchen, then the common room, then the spa. Anything they could think of for when they got Lance back. 

When

Not if, when. 

“Anything else you can think of my boy?” Coran asked him, picking up the various cleaning supplies that were scattered around the floor. 

“No, he’d kill me if I touched his room” 

Coran chuckled, “Oh yes, I remember him telling me of a ‘system’. Is that a human thing?” 

Hunk shook his head laughing, “No, that’s just a Lance thing, he was like that back in the garrison too. We had split the room down the middle because he claimed that he ‘couldn't think’ if the room was clean. And I, being a normal person enjoyed not wading through tons of shit to get to the door” Hunk sighed. 

Everything had been so simple back then, the stakes were only grades, and maybe detention at worst. Now...well now everything was life or death, for them and the rest of the universe. Then losing Lance could be resolved with a text, hunk thought bitterly. 

He jumped and turned toward the door when something crashed behind it. Another thump and it slid open to reveal a panting Pidge, “We’re getting a transmission from the glara” 

Hunk and Coran looked at each other for a moment before they were sprinting with Pidge back to the bridge. 

Allura and Shiro stood together in front of the largest screen, which was projecting a call message. Coran went to put a hand on the princesses shoulder, but she had shrugged him off by the time Hunk came to flank Pidge. 

Keith burst into the room then, hair falling out of its tie and face slick with sweat. He held his bayard like the threat was actually in the room with them. He stood next to Hunk, both of them subconsciously leaving a space that Lance would usually fill. 

Shiro stepped forward to press the button that would open the transmission. They were greeted by the image of Zarkon's witch, Haggar. 

“Priestess Honerva” Allura greeted. 

"Princess Allura, it’s been so long. I had thought by now you would be a queen. Though I suppose there’s no one left to correnate you.” Allura visible stiffened and Coran and Shiro somehow closed rank around her without moving. 

“Where is the blue paladin” She demanded. 

“Straight to the point as always, you’ll be happy to know that he’s very much alive, and I intend to keep him that way. I’m also willing to strike a deal with you” 

“We’re not giving you the lions” Allura’s voice was steady but Hunk could see the death grip she had on Shiro’s hand. 

“Pity, but I’ve left him in the hands of one of my generals, she might be able to convince you” The image switched to that of a empty room, with a chair in the middle, facing the camera. A galra woman sat perched on its back, flipping a butterfly knife between her fingers. 

Someone said something in galran behind the camera causing her to glance up. A grin spread across her face, she dropped the knife on the floor and stood from her seat. 

“Hello Voltron,” She waved, “I’m general Soval and I have the honor of spending so much time with you blue paladin. I can’t even tell you how happy I am to have him, so strong and sooo pretty” She her happy sigh made Hunk’s stomach flip. 

Keith was shaking beside him. 

“Ooh,” Soval cooed, “Red’s got a temper on him, are you jealous? I’d be happy to have you too” 

Hunk instinctively grabbed Keith's shoulder in an attempt to keep him from blowing up when there was nothing to fight. 

“Prove he’s alive” Shiro said. 

Soval laughed, “Gladly, I actually have something fun planned for today” She backed away from the camera, pulling away a curtain with a flourish. 

Lance looked...not good. 

He was tied to a chair, slumped over. Blood dripped from a gash above his brow and a long scar ran down his cheek.

It’s only been 36 hours Hunk thought, immediately followed by we fucked up. 

“Let him go” Pidge hissed beside him, but it came out weak and only caused Soval to chuckle darkly. 

“It’s fascinating how you humans form bonds with one another, and other species. Even more so than Alteans, and we thought they were weak-hearted.” She chuckled again. 

Soval dragged a claw down Lances face, causing him to cringe away, but his restraints didn't let him go far. 

“Our observations have shown,” She continues, “That you’ll even form these bonds with animals, weather or not they’re useful. Some human will put themselves in harms way to form these bonds.” 

She looked thoughtful for a moment before shaking herself and hitting Lance a couple times with the back of her hand. 

“Come on little blue, out of your head, I’m sure your friends wanna talk to you” 

Lance’s eyes snapped open and immediately shot a glare at Soval who rolled her eyes and pointed at the camera. 

Hunk watched his face split into a timid grin, “Hey guys” his voice was scratchy from disuse, or maybe overuse. Hunk cringed at the thought. “Think you could come get me? The beds here aren't nearly as good as the ones at the castle and you know I need my beauty sleep.” 

Soval pouted at that, then pouted more when he ignored her. 

“Lance, we’re doing our best but...we’re having a bit of trouble. Pidge is working on it” Allura said, bowing her head a bit. 

Lance shook his head, “No problem princess, I’m sure I won't have to wait long” His tone was casual but Hunk could see that he was absolutely terrified. 

His right foot was tapping restlessly against the floor and he knew that unless he had lost a lot of blood he definitely shouldn't be that pale. Though, that wasn't exactly out of the realm of possibility, Hunk reminded himself. Point was, he had never seen his best friend look so scared. Openly or not. 

Glancing at the rest of the team was enough to see that they were thinking the same. 

Coran looked visibly distraught and Hunk wasn't sure if the hand he had placed on Allura’s shoulder was to steady her or himself. 

Allura and Shiro however, looked the epitome of leadership in times like this. They stood together, straight-backed and stone faced. But hunk could tell Shiro was chewing the inside of his cheek and Allura had his hand in a death grip. 

Pidge looked...small. She had her arms wrapped around herself and her eyes were darting around the screen, trying to find anything that might give away their location. 

To his right Keith was visibly seething. He was leaning forward supported by a chair. Holding it so tight his knuckles were white. 

Hunk startled when Soval clapped, apparently finished with being ignored. “While this is all absolutely heartwarming,” her voice dripped with sarcasm, “I do have something I would like to show you” 

She said something in galran again and three guards came into view. They undid the restraints and Lance thrashed against them when they tried to turn both him and the chair around. Hunk’s heart soared with hope when he fell to the ground and before any of the guards could react he sprinted out of view. The occupants of the castle exchanged hopeful glances and Allura called for Coran to be ready to pick up distress signals as far as their sensors could reach. But before anyone could follow through with her order Lance was dragged back on screen by an additional three guards. Kicking and thrashing as he was tied back onto the chair, backwards this time. 

 

Soval chuckled, “That’s failed escape attempt number four, little blue. Maybe try something a little more sophisticated next time. It’d be much more fun to when we catch you if you make it more than halfway down the hall”

“Give me some exit codes and I’ll give you a merry chase...Bitch” Lance mumbled, the insult an afterthought. 

She smacked his shoulder, “kind words little blue, we talked about this” 

She then picked up an assembly of metal rods with what looked like squares at the end. “These, were made special for this” She said proudly. 

A small purple box was brought in, glowing orange from one side. Soval put the first rod into it. 

“Dont fuking touch him with that you bitch!” Keith exploded beside him. 

Soval just winked at him and with the butterfly knife, cut away the back of Lances already torn flight suit. She pulled the rod from the box, now glowing orange and Hunk’s heart was beating in his throat. She pressed it to Lance’s exposed skin and Hunk watched his face contorted in agony. He writhed against the thing but his restraints didn't let him move.

“I’m going to tear you apart” Keith growled. 

“I’m looking forward to it” Soval said, placing another rod against Lances back. 

This time he screamed, loud enough to startle him and so full of absolute pain it instantly made Hunk nauseous. 

Soval grinned at them and threw the rods to the side, placing another two in the box.

After the fifth rod was pulled away from Lance’s skin he sobbed, choking on his scream and dropping his head. 

“It’s okay Little Blue” She cooed, and placed a hand on his trembling shoulder, mocking comfort. “You’re all done now and look, we have tears. Why don’t you show your friends how pretty you look” She lifted his chin to the camera and Hunk’s chest clenched. 

If he Lance looked bad before we looked absolutely wrecked now. 

“Lance listen to me.” Shiro spoke, he was using his leader voice, “We’re going to find you, it’s going to be okay. But I need you to stay strong until then okay?” Lance nodded miserably, “Keep a routine, as much as you can, count the ceiling tiles, talk to us in your head whatever you have to do” Lance nodded again, tears still dripping off his chin. 

Soval came in front of them then, “I take it you’re the champion then” She said. 

“I am” 

“My congratulations then, but you won’t be getting you’re ‘Lance’ back. At least not the way you want. The high priestess has big plans for him I’ll tell you that” 

She bounced onto her toes then, “Oh I almost forgot to show you, she walked back and spun Lance’s chair around. There, seared onto his back, bright red blistering letters spelled out ‘SOVAL’ down his spine. Hunk was shaking, probably visibly but he was so past caring. 

That was… Hunk went through what he knew of Altean medicine. It could heal completely but… that scar was never going to go away. Lance would live the rest of his life with the reminder of what she had done to him. And she knew it. 

“Guys?” Lance called, sounding small and scarred, “Guy’s what’d she do?” Keith almost said something but Shiro cut him off. 

“Nothing we can’t fix Lance” But his face was ashen and Alura shook her head at him. “Nothing we can't fix” He repeated. 

Soval looked at the questioningly for a moment before happily saying goodbye and cutting off the connection. 

No one said anything for a while after the screen went black, all still trying to process what they had just seen. 

“oh my god…” Hunk wispered. 

“What are we going to do?” Pidge said. 

“What we’ve been doing” Allura spoke, she wiped away invisible tears below her eyes and continued. “Pidge and Hunk, see if you can track that signal, Coran, check all the castle defences. Me and Shiro will continue trying to figure out where they would take him. Keith…” She trailed off, Keith was already storming away. 

She brought her hands to her head, “quiznack”


	4. Lonely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's been a hot second since I've updated but finals are a bitch sooo. It's here now and a little short but I've realized that I actually have no idea how many chapters are gonna be in this bitch because its only chapter 4 and I already moved away from my plan sooo.

This time the guards didn't bring him back to that same cell. Lance was still reeling from seeing his teammates by the time he realized that they were not going down the same path they usually dragged him through after these sessions. (there had been four, so far. Including the most recent one) (He wasn't sure how much time had passed) 

Instead he was dumped into a smaller cell, this one with just enough room to sit against one wall and brace his feet against the other. It was completely white, there wasn't even a visible seam where the door was. And entirely silent, he couldn't hear sentries footsteps outside the door, or the constant small whirring that all ships possessed.

It was dark too, there was enough light to see, but little enough that shadows may or may not move in the shadows. 

Lance closed his eyes. His back arched against the cool wall, and the rest of him was so, so sore. But he could pretend for a moment, with the memory of his team fresh in his mind, that instead the aches came from a difficult mission. 

One that they had won, of course. And the team had celebrated for a moment then split up to sleep in their own rooms in an attempt to recoup erase. 

He thought that he could be sitting on the floor of his room, listening to the quiet buzz of the castle machinery. He thought maybe he would move to his bed, and fall asleep with the knowledge that he would probably wake up to Pidge banging around in the vents, or Hunks food or Keith training or Shiro and Allura telling them they needed to train. 

He convinced himself he could feel the sticky-cool of a sleep mask on his face, and smell the eucalyptus type scent that he filled his room with. 

But it was exhausting to try to convince himself, and he couldn’t hear anything. Or move really, and when he woke up it would be to guards dragging him back to Soval. And he might not even get fed for a few more days and when he did it wouldn't be Hunks. More tears slipped out of his eyes. The silence was driving him insane. 

He sobbed then, loud and ugly and drawn out, for the first time since he was captured. Because he was stuck here and the dim lights hurt his head when he tried to look too closely at the shadows in the corners. And his friends didn’t know where he was and his back hurt and he just wanted to go home. 

He wanted to be a pilot sure, and saving the universe was all fine in theory but in reality… He could tell you how it felt to come back from the dead (it was cold) and he knew where to shoot galra so they wouldn't stand up (calm your breathing, through the eye) He had seen children clinging to their lifeless parents and siblings and friends and he hadn’t seen his own family in so long and he didn't know if they were alright or…

The stories never tell you how absolutely terrifying it is to bolt awake to an alarm and know that hearing it might mean that you, or you’re friends, could be dead within the hour. He tried not to think about it, most of the time. He pretended that everything's fine because he knew that the rest of the team needed some sort of normalcy but… Nothing's okay. He’s going to die on this fucking ship.

He pulled his knees up to his chest and laid his head in his arms and cried. 

Lance wasn’t sure how long it was it was until he fell asleep, nor was he sure how long he was asleep for. But he woke up in the same position with a crick in his neck. 

Everything was the same. Except for a small bowl filled with something akin to rice and a small cup of water. 

He carefully uncurled himself, legs and back protesting with sharp pains. The burns where barley healed still. He pulled himself towards the door and cautiously brought both the food and drink to his nose. Neither smelled of anything. 

They wouldn’t poison him, would they? 

Not after going to all that trouble biting him for his team. And doing...something to his back. But then again that might have been for Sovals personal enjoyment, and he could be leading his team directly into a trap. 

There wouldn’t be anything he could do. 

He eventually decided that death by poison wouldn't be the most painful way to go, and downed the water in one gulp. Then the rice in a fashion that would certainly discuss his mother- a thought that almost sent him into another bout of tears. 

He didn't notice until he was done that it was cold in the room, and he was shivering violently. He curled back up, this time laying on the floor. It was so cold. 

He could hear his heart in his ears and god. What was happening. 

Soval said something about earth, they knew about earth. Fuck. Pidge would be paying attention to it right? 

Maybe not. He didn't know. God he couldn't think. 

Was it the food. Maybe they did poison him. This wasn't so bad. This felt like stepping out of a healing pod. Was that where he was? 

No, he couldn’t be. 

The door opened with a hiss and at least he still had enough of himself to scramble away. The same small galra that dressed his wounds came in. Lance made a grab for his wrists when he reached for his face but the man just clapped a handcuff over his and shoved it against the wall. 

He then stepped back and a purple light flashed in Lance's eyes and for a moment he wasn't sure he was going to open them. But he did, and watched the an exit the room, wondering what the fuck just happened before he passed out entirely. 

This time when Lance woke up he was much warmer. And his head was clear again. His first though was that he was dead, it sure seemed like it, but the indifferent feeling turned to dread when he tried to stretch and hit a wall. His back ached when he tried to sit but now at least it was bandaged. 

This all was puzzling to say the least. He was obviously still in the same room, but a few white blankets were piled around him, and his back felt better. His head did still hurt a bit but was otherwise in perfect condition. 

Why the hell would they care, was he going to die? Why bother making him comfortable. Nothing made sense and he was still fucking trapped. 

So he did the only thing that he could think of in that moment, he started singing. 

Con la lana tejí la luna   
y fue una luna lanar,   
la lana tenía un nudo   
y fue en la luna un lunar.

It was an old spanish lullaby that his mother used to sing to him, and he in turn, would sing it to his nieces and nephews. 

Lana lunera,   
luna lanar,   
luna redonda   
te vi sobre el mar.

It was a love song, more or less. To the moon. Which, wasn’t anywhere close...

En el mar se mojó la luna,   
y de blanco se tiñó el mar,   
y el beso que vos me diste   
fue un beso de luna y sal.

When he first got to the castle of lions he had thought that Allura was some sort of moon goddess, his mind had went to the old myth about the goddess chang’e, then this song. And honestly he still thought she must be some sort of mythical being but it wasn’t quite the same. 

Lana lunera,   
luna lanar,   
luna redonda   
me hiciste cantar.

He had just wanted a love story so bad. He still wanted a love story because that had to be the one true thing about the stories right? He wanted to just… love someone, and be allowed to love them and be loved in return and was that so hard? 

It was. 

Pidge liked to call him a flirt or a fuckboy but he wasn’t really, he just needed a happy ending for himself. And even if he went up in flames, doing so with someone next to him didn’t seem quite as bad. It was a dumb notion, he knew that. They were in space and were fighting a war and no one else seemed to care. 

Well, that wasn’t true, Hunk had Shay but he hadn’t set out to do that. And that made it more real in Lance’s head but he just...wanted it so bad it hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I did quite a bit of research on solitary confinement but didn't get much more than it's bad. Also patients with burns have a large chance of developing hypothermia so that's what happened. 
> 
> Here's the link to the song if any of you are interested. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EC3TxyYKqDo


	5. Space Bitch #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There might be solution here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is longer than I expected it to be because I got carried away at some points, but uh yeah.

It was three in the morning and Allura wasn’t sure if she had had a nightmare or if her mind just got a little off track. It had been… long week. That was the understatement of the century. Allura hadn’t slept properly in three weeks, and they we’re running out of things to do. 

Pidge and Hunk hit a wall trying to track the signal they had received from the galra, Pidge had been upset about it for while. 

Allura remembered running into her sitting against the wall in the bridge, laptop pushed to the side and tears streaming down her face, “There’s just...nothing” She had gasped when Allura asked what happened. 

“There’s nothing, no wall, no bouncing just a hole where there should be code and I can't find it.” Allura had slid down the wall next to her, “I should be able to do this, I’m the one that’s supposed to be good at this stuff and now when we really need it I can’t” 

She wanted to tell her it would be okay, but they would both know that that was a lie, and Allura had outgrown the childish concept that everything would turn out alright for the simple reason that it had to be. (Having your entire family as well as your people wiped out in what felt like seconds would do that to you) 

“You’re smart Pidge, if you can’t figure it out you can’t blame yourself. The only person at fault her is Zarkon and those that follow him.” 

Pidge nodded but didn’t respond. 

“I’m serious, if you can’t do it there isn’t a mind in the universe that can.” 

Pidge let out a shaky laugh, “I appreciate it princess, but it’s not true” 

Allura sighed, “Maybe, but my point stands. If you can’t find an  
anything it’s because there’s nothing to find.” 

 

She ran a hand through her hair, loose in it’s tie and uncomfortable oily.

They had nothing, no leads, no next steps. Just waiting for maybe something to come up. They were attacking prison ships but they all knew that they wouldn’t find anything on them. Lance was a special case. 

Allura had never felt like this. There was nothing she could do but hope. Even when she woke up there had been things to do and a war to fight but now… There was still a war to fight but she felt like fighting it would be like ignoring the fact that they were missing a paladin. 

They were missing a paladin. They couldn’t form voltron. They were struggling as it is and now… 

Allura rolled over, disturbing the mice nestled in her hair and hung her head off the side of her bed. And screamed.

It was a childish thing, but there was nothing else she could do. So she screamed long and hard until she ran out of breath and the back of her throat burned the same way her eyes did from holding back tears.

God she was supposed to be able to keep it together. She literally had classes on hiding her emotions in order to protect her people and the greater good of Altea. She had lost everything so why was this so hard? 

The mice squeak at her, concerned but she was too wrapped up in her own mind to comfort them. With a sigh she stood from her bed, deciding that she might as well bathe if she wasn’t going to sleep. 

The shower she took was brutally cold- she remembered her mother saying something about it calming your nerves. Weather that was true or not she wasn't sure. But she emerged shivering and at least less nightmare addled than before, and she was sure that there was no chance of getting back to sleep. 

Instead she wandered through the castle, first checking on Keith, then Pidge and Hunk, then Coran. When she came to Shiro’s room she was surprised to find the door open and the room empty. 

So was the lounge, and the kitchen, and the training room, nd the bridge. She had resigned herself to pacing the parts of the castle that she hadn’t touched since she woke up. Letting happier memories wash over her, from diplomatic missions her father had let her accompany him on. 

She remembered Piliv, her first time away from Altea. She had played with a boy around her age from the planet. 

He would be long dead, so would the woman who helped her find Coran when she had been lost on Heiturn. And the queen who had painted her nails with Allura and her mother on Olia. 

Coming across the old paladin quarters was a mistake. Because she couldn't think of anything but pleading with Blitz, Trigel, and Gurgaon to convince her father to fight. She remembered them looking at her sadly and shaking their heads as they left. 

The last battle, when her father had tried to reason with his old friend. When he had come back only to shove her into a cryo pod and then die. 

She didn't realize she was crying until tears were dripping off her chin and onto her nightgown. She shook her head, it was over, she was done mourning that. There was no getting them back and that was that. What she would do was get it right this time. 

Allura couldn’t fail in this war too. She wouldn’t. There was too much at stake. She had slept while entire solar systems fell to tyrannical rule, while generations died under selfish leaders. She slept and the rest of the universe, the rest of her people perished. 

She looked at the ceiling, trying to will the tears from her eyes. She should really be sleeping, or trying to figure out where Shiro got to.

That last thing was taken care of when she literally ran right into him. “Woah” his human arm came up to steady her. 

“I was just looking for you, you weren't in your room” She told him. 

“We must’ve just missed each other” He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. “These are…” 

“The rooms built for the paladins” She finished, “I didn’t...I couldn’t” 

“I get it” He said, “Were you close with them” 

“No, but they were such a large part of my life, I was babysat by Honerva for Merida’s sake” She wouldn’t cry again. Not in front of Shiro. 

He was silent for a long while while she tried to keep her tears at bay. “I’m sorry” He finally said, sliding down the wall to sit cross legged against it. She across from him. “You know, you don't have to do it alone right?” 

She just nodded, not trusting herself to speak. 

“I know you’re closer with Coran but, I’m here too, I know what it’s like to be put in charge of something you think might be impossible” 

Somehow that as funny to her, enough for a small laugh to escape her, “I’m sorry” She wasn’t sure what exactly she was apologizing for. 

Shiro shook his head, “I was already in this war, I just feel bad for taking a bunch of children in with me” 

Allura nodded, “I know the feeling. I mean Lance…” she choked back a sob. 

“I know” He pulled her into a hug. Allura let herself collapse into him, and in turn feel him crumple around her. She realized then that they were in the same boat, neither were really meant to have this life- at least not yet. Neither wanted to turn children into soldiers to fight an age old war. But that was what happened, and now they had to fix it. 

“What were you.. On earth?” She asked. 

He laughed, “A pilot. I was deployed on a mission to a moon at the far reaches of our solar system. It was the farthest mission earth had ever launched and I was sure that I wasn’t going to make it back alive…” 

She let herself fall asleep like that, half sprawled on Shiro’s lap. She did wake up at one point, his head had dropped onto hers and his breathing was even and sh just brought her legs up, seeking warmth away from the cold castle floor. And fell back into a dreamless sleep. 

………………..

Waking up on the floor to Coran’s frantic voice over the comms was unpleasant to say the least. She uncurled herself from her ball and shook Shiro until he also woke. He stared at her groggily for a moment before muttering what must be a expletive from earth before standing. 

Together they hurried to the bridge where the remaining team was already standing, looking confused. 

Allura wasn't surprised, usually her and Shiro were the first up and dressed, and here they were, late and Allura was still wearing a nightgown. 

“Another call, Princess” Coran said. 

She swore. “Open it” 

Like last time, haggar’s face popped onto the screen, but this time they could see Lance in the background, strapped to table and covered in wires. He looked dazed, like he couldn’t quite make sense of what was happening. 

“What did you do?” She hissed. 

“Oh nothing yet Princess” Haggar said, “He’s been left alone for the past two weeks in fact. No one’s touched him since you saw him last.” 

Pidge gasped and Allura sent her a confused look, why would this be so bad? 

“Solitary confinement, sensory deprivation, humans...don't do well with it” Pidge whispered to her. Hunk paled at her comment. 

“Oh so you’re familiar, good. It’s done more to you’re paladin than it’s done for any other species I’ve seen. It’s quite remarkable really” 

Allura clenched her hands at her sides, Lance was so social. Alteans could go weeks without interaction, but apparently humans couldn’t and Lance would be more affected by it than anyone else. And the galra knew that. 

“Anyway, this is the first I’ve seen the blue paladin personally. So this will be a new experience for all of us.” The witch turned at that, moving to stand over Lance. 

“Just enough to wake him up” She told the druid standing to her right. It’s fingers gloed a faint purple before a blue shock came from them and reached for Lances chest. 

When it reached him he shuddered, eyes shooting open. He looked like he tried to sit up but was restrained by something they couldn’t see. 

“Let’s begin” Haggar said. “Lance, who are you?” She asked him. Lance didn't even look at her, instead staring somewhere past her head to the ceiling. 

The druid zapped him again. “What are you” Haggar repeated. Again Lance didn't even give her a look. This time the zap lasted almost five seconds. Allura was forced to watch Lance twist and scream silently in agony. 

Haggar asked five times before LAnce responded to her, “I’m the paladin of the blue lion” 

He was zapped for longer than Allura cared to count for this time. “Wrong” Haggar said, “You are in training to become a galra soldier” 

“Lance don’t listen to her!” Hunk steamed, he was already crying. 

“He can't hear you” HAggar said to them. Then to Lance, “Who do you fight for” 

 

Lance stubbornly refused to give the answers the witch and her druids wanted for a whole hour, all while the rest of them stood and watched. They were huddled together, all holding onto each other by the time Lane started singing a broken version of what must be an earth lullaby. 

“You are my sunshine, my only sun-” He was broken off by a bold of blue light from the druids hands. 

“-sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey-” He was given another bolt when he refused to tell the galra that he wanted Voltron dead. 

“You’ll never know dear, how much I-” Another bolt, this one lasting longer than any of the others. This time when it ended Lance’s eyes stayed closed, and his body stayed limp. Alluras heart stopped when the druid placed a clawed finger to his pulse point. 

Pidges nails dug into her skin while they waited. In all honesty Allura didn’t know if it was selfish to want him alive, they were so far away from finding a coordinate, or even a starting point. And it was only going to get worse for Lance. 

But the druid drew back and shrugged nodded to the witch. “Just throw him back in his cell, we’ll start over tomorrow” She said. The team watched silently as Lance was picked up carelessly and taken out of view. 

They waited, for nothing while the screen went dark and the line was cut. The silence was palpable on the bridge while Allura waited. She knew she was the one who should break the silence, but there was nothing useful she had to say. Nothing about this situation was good. 

“He’s not gone until he’s dead guys” It was Keith who finally spoke, then quieter, “He’s not dead” 

“He might as fucking well be!” Pidge whirled towards him. 

“Yeah, and how does that help us?” Keith didn’t yell, didn’t get angry like he usually would. He just looked...blank. 

Pidge looked at her shoes, still gripping Allura’s arm, “I’m sorry” 

Keith shook his head. 

“I actually might have an idea.” Hunk said, “You know how we’re like connected to the lions, and blue is obviously distressed, is there a way to like… track Lance through blue?” 

That, that could actually work, they’d need a power source while they drew blue’s memory core out but… they might be able. No not the memory core. Someone would have to connect with blue. Actually see into her mind, into the ether that tied that paladins to their lions. 

“It’d be difficult” She finally said. 

“I dont care” Pidge said at the same time Hunk said, “It’s worth it” and Keith said, “It’s worth a try” 

Shiro smiled at her for probably the first time in a week, “We should go one by one to see if anyone can connect with blue.”

There was an uneasy moment where they all looked at eachother. “I’ll go first” Shiro said, “I’m the paladin of the black lion, so I have a bit of a connection with all the lions already” 

Shiro left the room, the rest of the silently taking seats around the room. No one spoke while they waited. There was too much going on in anyone’s head for them to even begin to try and voice their thoughts. 

Shiro came back twenty minutes later, he shook his head and sat next to Coran. 

Hunk went next, but also returned looking upset. Then Pidge, who mostly looked angry coming back, and Keith, who took the longest and came back with slightly puffy eyes. 

Allura stood, and left the room. When she was younger she had always wanted to pilot a lion, she had flown red once, she was fifteen, and rebellious enough to sneak into the hanger and into red’s cockpit. 

She had been caught halfway out of the hanger, after running into the wall. Twice. And had been grounded for longer than she cared to speak about. 

Now, however. She only wanted one job. She could lead the team and offer knowledge about the universe and altean alchemy but… Flying a lion was a whole other thing. She didn't want both. It was too much and she didn't know how her father did it. 

Blue sat tall in her hanger, and lowered her jaw for Allura to climb into. She did, and sat in the pilots seat. Nothing lit up, and she closed her eyes and reached. She wasn’t quite sure what she was reaching for, and she didn’t know how long she sat there, doing nothing but getting a headache. 

She was about to give up, open her eyes and walk back to her team and let Coran give it a shot. When there was something. Just a bit of blue in the vast infinity of nothing around her. She chased it, everytime she thought she might have it it slipped. 

When she finally caught it, whatever it was. The lion lit up around her and roared in her mind. She startled and almost fell out of the pilot seat. 

Oh, she thought, okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clear up any confusion- fuck canon, everyone's still in their original positions, Keith never left for BOM, but they've been out her for like a year in a half. Also if you didn't know I love Pidge. And lso I forgot about Coran for a hot second. 
> 
> You can interpret the Shallura however you want really. I personally think the ship is sweet and I like the space parents thing. I know Shiro is a cannon gay, but like I said-fuck cannon. I'm not trying to erase his sexuality but it just... wasn't relevent to the story and both Adam and Curtis were throwaway characters so. Y'all ship what you wanna ship i dont care. 
> 
> Also it's four in the morning here so this chapter is Not Edited. I'll do it later just deal with it for now.


	6. I love him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a filler with alot of feelings.

Ch 6- 

Everything was a blur after that, the team was ecstatic that they had a lead again, and one that could actually work at that. Pidge was already hooking up machines to blue, Hunk was trying to build a device that could interpret either the lions quantum frequency or interpret their tracking devices. 

Allura however… wasn’t so sure about this. She knew that the lions could find their paladins if need be but blue hadn’t tried to leave her hangar. She guessed the only lion that she had seen actually go after their paladin was red but at the same time. What if blue didn’t know? 

What if they were just grasping at another dead end. What if the only reason why blue had let her in was because she knew Lance wasn’t coming back. 

The last thing she wanted to do was replace anyone. 

This was war, and people die in wars. Nothing has ever been fought without sacrifice and Allura knew that better than anyone but. Lance wasn’t dead, he was being tortured with the best the galra had and Allura knew that she herself would much rather be dead than that. 

Moving forward, she told herself, that was all she could do. Keep going, keep pushing, don’t overthink. 

“So how would this work?” Hunk asked her. 

“Uh, well in theory, the lion knows where he is right? So I would go in there and try and bring that information to the front of blue’s mind and either I could tell you of you and Pidge could pick it up from your machines.” She said. 

Hunk nodded, “But, what if you can’t” 

“I will” She assured him, pulling her shoulders back and her chin up. 

Pidge told her they were ready and she sat in blue, closed her eyes and again reached. This time Allura felt blue around her, restless and worried in her mind. 

Where's Lance? She asked. There was little response other than a shifting in her mind. 

Please She thought, tell me where your paladin is. Images flashed in her mind, Lance strapped to a table, electric volts shooting through his body. 

She pulled away, stunned. “I know that!” She yelled at nothing. “I need to know where” 

More images flashed through her mind, them fighting with the galra, black dragging green into the castle. 

“NO!” She screamed this time, “I know what happened! I need coordinates please!” Her first struck the control panel and blue was no longer in her mind, it didn’t matter. The stupid lion didn't know anything she didn't know. 

She stormed out of blue, taking in the paladins and Corans hopeful glances. “Another dead end.” She told them, she realized after that there was too much emotion in her voice. She mentally forced her walls back up. 

“Wait, what?” Keith asked, “You were in there for like ten minutes” 

“Yes, well the lion either isn’t listening to me or doesn’t know so there’s nothing I can do” She stated, planting her feet against what she was sure would be an onslaught of verbal attacks. 

“You said yourself that you would have to bring the information to the front of blue’s ‘mind’ they don’t just tell us things that’s not how it works!” Keith yelled at her. 

“Well I’m sorry but I don’t know how to do that. Maybe if one of you could connect with her then we might be able to get somewhere” She realized it was a bit harsh only after se said it. 

“You’re the goddamn magic princess, you should know more about these things than we do” 

“I know about Altean alchemy, the lions are something a bit more advanced than I’ve been able to learn before my entire race was wiped out.”

“Maybe you should have tried harder then, instead of messing around with your big feasts and pretty dresses and royal consorts or whatever the fuck it is royalty does.” 

“Yeah, I’m sorry, I should have predicted a war whose nuances began while I was still learning to read.” 

“I think that’s enough” Shiro stepped between them, “Allura, how about you look over what Pidge and Hunk came up with. Keith you can…” He trailed off, because again, Keith was already storming out of the room. 

……………..

“Keith wait” Shiro called after the retreating red paladin. 

“Leave me alone Shiro” Keith called over his shoulder. 

“No, what’s wrong with you. You’re temper hasn’t been this bad in pheobs” Shiro caught him by the shoulder. 

Keith stopped in his tracks, “I’m just tired, and stressed. I’m sorry” He shrugged him off. 

“That’s bullshit, what’s really going on?” 

“Nothing okay? I told you to leave me alone” Keith turned into his room, nd the door slid shut effectively shutting Shiro out. 

He sighed and turned to go back to the rest of the group. Keith just needed space, and probably food and sleep, but he’d deal with that later. 

The castle was too quiet for Shiro’s taste. He was used to the constant movement of people and things in the garrison. There were always students with questions or other teachers intent on gossiping and even in his downtime he could hear footsteps outside his apartment door. The castle had been a stark difference, he knew that it wasn’t nearly as filled as it could be, there were whole wings that he hadn’t explored. 

But it was different without Lance. Because Lance took up enough metaphysical space to be three people. And now voices always seemed to be hushed, there was no obnoxious laughter, or loud banter. Just the quiet whir of machinery within the castle and the constant hum of blacks presence in his mind. Which was comforting yes, but it wasn’t the same as human- or alien- presence. 

Allura, Hunk and Pidge were all gathered around Pidge’s computer, Coran was nowhere to be seen. 

“Have you found anything” 

Pudge shook her head, “There’s just so much, and it's not quite like any code I’ve seen before.” 

“I understand some of it, but mostly from context” Allura added. 

“There’s a lot of it too” Pidge said, “It’s like if you were to manage to hook up a computer s=to someone's mind, no one thing is happening at any given time. I don’t know if we can sort through this” 

Shiro sighed, Allura butted in, “Actually. There might be something, the best of the best altean alchemists go to a place called Oriande. In order to learn the secrets of alchemy. My father went, and his mother, and her mother etc.” 

“Okay where is it?” Shiro asked. 

“That’s the thing. It moves, but it was the castles maiden voyage, so Corans looking through the files to see if he can find the coordinates for where my father went, there might be a clue or something there.” 

Shiro nodded, “Okay, so we have a plan, good. If the lion code thing is a dead end how about we take a break” 

…………………………………

An hour later Shiro was knocking on Keiths door, when there was no answer he knocked again. Still nothing. 

“Keith?” He asked, there was still no answer, worry pitted itself in Shiro’s stomach, “Keith I’m coming in” He announced before hitting the button that would open the door. 

It slid open to reveal Keith, sitting on his bed, head in his hands, “Hey what’s wrong?” 

Keith just shook his head, still not speaking. 

“You know you can talk to me” Shiro said, that's what made Keith lookup. 

The tears that tracked down his face surprised Shiro, but his only instinct was to wrap his arms around his adopted little brother. Keith let him, for maybe the second time ever. 

“What’s wrong?” Shiro asked. 

Keith sniffed, “I just… I don’t know. Everything feels wrong with LAnce gone yaknow?” He mumbled. 

“Yeah I get it” 

“But I.” There were a couple beats of silence before he continued, “I’m worried that I’ll never see him again and I never” 

Shiro didn’t push it when Keith was silent for almost five minutes, then he sat up straight “Could we just blow up their headquarters?” He continued on another train of thought, “Like, they would never expect us to especially now, and it would kill Zarkon and everyone else. And while they’re scrambling around we could find Lance.” He paused, “Or we could kidnap Zircon and trade him for Lance, then kill the space witch with Allura’s magic, then we could go home” He finished. 

Shiro sighed, “You know it not that easy” 

“Yeah i know, what if we could control their ships, then e could open all the doors and leave them floating in space…. I’m sorry I just…” He trailed off again. 

“IT’s fine, people go back to what they know when they’re stressed. It’s phycology.” 

Keith hit him gently, “You’re a nerd” 

Shiro laughed, “And you’re emo, what of it” 

Keith laughed too, but it was half-hearted at best. There was a long pause where neither of them said anything and Shiro wasn’t sure if he should just leave. 

Shiro knew that Keith and Lance had something that wasn’t really a friendship, but wasn’t really not one either. It was like both of them were constantly reaching and only catching air. It was frustrating to watch, and probably even more frustrating for both of them. 

He also knew that Keith wasn't good at emotions, and had an inkling that despite how LAnce acted, he wasn’t really either. He knew his brother, had watched him grow up and into himself. It wasn’t hard to tell that the whole team meant more to Earth than anyone else on earth ever had. Including Lance, but in a different way, one that Shiro couldn’t quite place, and he was sure that Keith couldn’t either. 

“I love him Shiro” Keith murmured. Or maybe he did know. 

“I know” 

“I’m afraid I’ll never get to tell him” 

“You will.” There was nothing else he could say, nothing would make this situation better until Allura figured out how to get to Oriande and it taught her alchemy or whatever. 

Keith wiped under his eyes, though it did nothing to help him and Shiro just hugged him again. 

“There’s sweets in the kitchen. Hunk bakes when he’s stressed.” 

Keith shook his head, “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I give a big fuck you to cannon, not only because parts of it suck but also because parts of it aren't convenient for me.


	7. After-effects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is...confused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long guys, I'm going to try to update at least every to weeks from now on, maybe more. That being said, every chapter I write seems to deviate from my initial plan soooo. Who fuckin knows. 
> 
> Also, not only is this chapter really short its also unedited and a fucking hate it.

Lance woke up in the white cell again, with only a vague memory of pain. Sorting through rest of his memories only served to make his head pound worse than it had before. His jaw and teeth were sore, every muscle in his body protested every move he made. But he couldn't remember what had happened. 

He was on a galra ship. He knew that, but he had no recollection of how he got there. Where was his team? Were they here too? How long had it been? 

Questions buzzed through his mind, only adding to the headache pounding behind his eyes. Nothing made sense, the only thing he knew was that he was in a bad situation.  
Even though he couldn't remember anything, the hunger that ahced in his stomach and the mysterious bandages that covered his back told him that he might have been here for longer than just a few hours. None of this information helped him in the slightest, and searching the walls of the room for some kind of door or hatch or something proved useless. 

Though he knew even when he started it was a hail-mary that was more useful to give him something to do than a step to actually find an escape route. 

He punched the wall, which turned out to be an all around bad idea. Pain shot up his arm leaving him hunched over holding his shoulder. Lance groaned, and decided that in this situation the only thing he could do was lay down and put his feet up on the wall. 

That way he could pretend that he was at home, in his room. Pretending to be doing homework and instead complaining to his dog Luther about how he did not in fact, want to do it. He could pretend that my moment his mama would scream that dinner was ready from downstairs. 

Which made him more hungry, and reminded him that it was too quiet for home. Someone would be laughing or screaming or running up and down the stairs. The silence was too much, or not enough. 

It wasn’t good it what it was. 

Fuck. 

He must have fallen asleep, or fallen into something resembling sleep- it was impossible to tell when nothing changed anyway. But he startled when the door opened with a loud hiss. 

A guard grabbed him by his arm and pulled him out into the hall. His mind wasn’t doing anything even remotely useful , instead deciding that the best course of action would just be to think what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck repeatedly as he was pushed down hallways. 

He was shoved into a room and stumbled over his feet, falling face down on the floor. A cold chuckle came from above him and deja vu curled tight in his stomach. 

“Hey Blue, I missed you” 

Lance barely registered her words before he was pulled up and strapped to a table. Dread ashed over him like a bucket of water. A piece of leather was shoved between his teeth. 

He didn’t even have time to panic all the way before his entire body vibrated with a current. It felt like he was being cooked from the inside out while electricity buzzed over his skin. When the pain subsided someone said something next to him. 

A clawed hand pulled him from his daze with a slap, “I said, Who are you Blue?”

“I… I’m a, I’m the blue paladin of voltron” He managed. 

“Wrong little blue,” a galra woman came into his line of sight, “You’re team abandoned you, you’re going to be a soldier of the galra empire now” 

His breath shook, that couldn't be. His team would never leave anyone behind. Right? They had gotton Allura when she was cptured. 

But she was a princess, and had sacrificed herself for Shiro. Would they leave him if he had botched the mission? No. No he told himself. 

But he couldn’t be sure. 

“Again” the woman said. 

The current came again, he could feel it in his bones, an invading presence that came in waves. It forced his muscles to tense and his body to lock into place so he was unable to move. 

When it subsided she asked him again, “Who are you?” 

“I don’t know” 

He didn’t, he couldn’t be a paladin from here, he wasn’t a pilot, a sharpshooter, anything. 

“Hmmm” The woman murmured, looking at him thoughtfully, “I do.” She held his cheek and placed her thumb against his lips, “You fight for me” 

No, no he would never. 

Lance shook his head. No, he didn’t fight for this bitch. 

The current came again. 

Again she told him his team abandoned him. 

She said that he sacrificed himself, and that they weren’t even trying to save him. 

That they had already moved on, there was already a new blue paladin. 

That he was alone. 

That he could get them back. 

And he tried to stop the resentment that grew in his mind, but it was still there. It had for a while, he thought. Because he as the dumb one and the screw up and everyone always got annoyed at him. 

So the last time the woman asked “‘who are you”

He told her, “I’m you ever you want me to be” 

She had grinned and kissed him then, and it was a mock of comfort but he hadn’t had anything like that in so long. So he had kissed her back, because he was lost and didn't know what to do but here was someone telling him. 

She then patted his cheek and left the room, “Save that” thrown over her shoulder.

There was a slight tingling that encompassed his entire body. Pleasant compared to the shock waves of a few minutes ago. 

When he was returned to his cell he slumped against the wall and fell into a heavy sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah that was...fun...
> 
> I have a klane playlist if any of yall are interested, and I always love song suggestions so drop some in the comments. 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/04p7FFxyUXah1P7p6mlHD1  
> ^link for playlist that I hope actually works.


	8. Oriande

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again this is unedited because I'm fucking tired.

Finding the information for the castles maiden voyage wasn't difficult, the hard part was that they didn't make any sense. Well, it did up until a certain point, the coordinates led them to a part of the universe where there was truly nothing- which made sense. But soon after that the coordinates...weren’t like any coordinates Allura had ever seen. 

They stumped Coran too. Theoretically it made sense, people weren’t supposed to just stumble upon the home of alchemy. But it did certainly make it more difficult. 

In Altea the location of Oriande was passed from parent to child in riddles and myths, they had to make it out themselves from the stories they were told. It was sacred that no one was directly told where it was, or what happened there. Just...finding it felt wrong, but they had no other choice. 

They had eventually made the decision to just go to the last intelligible coordinates and make their way from there. 

When they emerged from the wormhole there was...nothing. Absolutely nothing. No planets, no suns, no random spaceship or broken ships. But something was pulling her, Allura could feel it’s call in her gut. 

“Our readings are picking up a black hole Princess…” Coran called from his control panel.

Allura stepped up to the window, peering out. Still, she saw nothing, but the scanners would have no problem picking up the gravitational pull, “Bring us in” She commanded. 

Noises or protests came from various places around the deck, “Princess, I’m afraid that the castle won’t be able to withstand the pressure, even with the particle barrier.” 

He was right, there would be no way the castle could survive the trip, and going into one without a vessel was suicide, even with the fancy paladin suits. But voltron could; at least theoretically. It could survive rifts in the universe because it was made of the same material that made them, and it was proven that black holes were rifts. 

But. They were created differently, by an excess of gravity in a too-small-space and not by a material. But those created gravitational interference too, not as much as a black hole but enough to rip time-space. And this was a smaller scale one. 

“Voltron can get through” She said. 

Immediately Shiro called for the paladins to get to their lions. Which called into place another problem. The lions themselves didn't have the same chemical makeup as Voltron as a whole, and they didn’t have all of their paladins. 

So she headed for Blue’s hangar, she knew that blue was one of the most friendly lions, and she prayed to god that pure force of will would let her form voltron with the others. 

Flying a lion was nothing like anything she had ever experienced, her commands came out more like suggestions to Blue. And she could feel her energy pulsing around her, concerned and sad. 

The paladins confusion came over her comms as soon as she flew blue out of the castleship to join the others. “Allura, glad you could join us” Shiro said, not even missing a beat. 

“Allright gang, this will probably feel a bit different with the princess but I’m sure we can do it. Form Voltron!” 

(BOODOO DUH DOO DO DO DOOOOOOOO) 

If flying Blue wasn’t like nothing she’s ever done before being part of Voltron certainly was. She could feel each paladin and their lion, the connection buzzed through her veins and it was overwhelming for a second before Pidge’s voice spoke into her ear. 

“Holy shit” 

Everyone else laughed quietly and Shiro gave the order to fly into the black hole. 

Nerves finally came to the surface of her mind. Flying directly into a black hole was madness, they would be crushed, time would warp and spin around them until there was nothing left. And even if she was right and they find Oriande, what if she couldn’t get in because she cheated? 

“Allura, I can feel you being nervous and it’s making Hunk nervous so if you could calm down?” Keith said. 

Allura sighed and nodded, before realizing that they couldn't see her, “Or course, I’m sorry” 

They were close enough now that Allura could feel the gravitational pull the of the Black hole...as well as something else. It calmed her nerves a bit, that feeling. It felt like altean magic and her fathers lab and home. 

Everyone held their breaths as they past the horizon-the point of no return. She couldn’t see anything, Voltrons headlights just being sucked into a abyss. 

Then something shifted. A roar broke through the oppressive silence and she herd Pidge swear. She felt her lion break from Voltron and tumble in. Panic set itself deep into her mind as she was ripped away from everyone else, their yells cut off until she was alone in the silence and darkness. 

There was nothing, then there as everything at once. Allura found herself standing, without Blue, in front of a massive castle, it was styled like ancient Altean citadel. 

“What is this?” 

Allura whirled around to come face to face with Keith, who as gazing in amazement at the building in front of them. 

Allura searched behind him for the other paladins but there was nothing but a foggy whiteness. 

“This is Oriande” She stated, and turned back to the massive doors. Allura took a deep breath and pushed. They opened easily, forcing her to stumble a bit since she expected a bit of struggle. 

Side by side they walked through a hall guarded by huge statues of the alteans of old. 

“Nicandor of growth, Arawn of love, Tirion of time, Uppula of eternity, Labshi of the sight, Jaoa of strength, Teresa of discovery, Rura of lost things, Ctesias of strength, Anicets of tragedy.” She listed under her breath. Keith didn't comment on it. At the end of the hall there were two more statues. 

“Of life and Of death” They were the first Alteans, some said they were gods, some said that they were perfectly mortal. What mattered is that they were born out of pure quintessence. 

The statues moved suddenly, huge spears blocking their path. Keith dropped into a fighting stance beside her but Allura didn’t flinch, “Please” She called to the room, “I wish only to learn the secrets of alchemy that you protect.” Nothing happened. 

“Please” She called again, this time desperation tinted her voice, “I need to find my friend, he doesn’t deserve what is happening to him but I need help to fix it, I don’t know what else to do” 

For a terrifying moment nothing happened, then the statues drew their spears back, and the doors opened. Inside were podiums circling the edge of a large round room. The ceiling was painted with familiar constellations, and visions of old legends. 

She stood on one, Keith on the one next to her. As soon as she closed her eyes the floor disappeared under her and was replaced with grass covered in a wispy fog. A white lion appeared before her, it bowed its head minutely before charging directly at her. 

Allura flung herself to the side. The lion rounded back on her. She searched around her for a weapon or something but there was nothing except the fog around her. She was forced to jump aside as the lion charged her again. 

This didn’t make sense, a cat and mouse game, what was a test that she had no way of passing. 

The lion charged her again and she realized. it wasn’t a physical challenge. So the next time the lion charged her she fell to her knees and let it ram straight into her. 

This time everything disappeared around her and she was floating in an endless galaxy. 

“Close your eyes Princess Allura” A voice commanded, “Everything you need will be given to you in time” 

……………….

Allura stumbled off of the podium, her vision slowly coming back to her. Everything...made so much sense. 

Keith was sitting on his podium, his face in his hands. “Why am I here?” He asked. 

Allura sat on her podium, still trying to process everything, “You must have the gift of alchemy” 

“But… nothing happened, I fought the lion and ended up back here when it beat me. I couldn’t pass the test” 

“That wasn’t the test Alteans valued bravery over anything else. You had to fail.” 

He shook his head, “But you got it right, you can save Lance?”

“I can try” 

She stood with that, pulling keith up after her. 

As soon as they walked out of those doors Allura was suddenly back in Blue, Red was floating beside her. It didn't take long for her to power Blue up and watch Red come to life as well. 

She turned around to see a massive white hole getting slowly smaller in the distance. “Oh” She said, that made a lot of sense. Her comms flickered to life with all the other paladins trying to figure out what happened, “Allura, Keith, Where the hell where you” Shiro asked, Black coming into view followed closely by Green and Yellow. 

“Oriande” She replied, “Where are we?” 

“Not too far from where we were, we should be able to make it back in a couple vargas” Pidge said. 

“Then I guess we should get going” Shiro said. 

They flew in formation for vargas, no one spoke, except Pidge when they were getting off course. Blue was a constant presence in Allura’s mind, poking and prodding curiously, looking for information on her lost paladin. Allura let her sort through her memories, the exchange of information soothing in a strange way. 

Blue moved from looking for mentions of Lance to projecting images of the old paladins, her father and his friends...and Zarkon. It wasn’t as painful as she thought it would be, but there were soon silent tears streaming down her face. 

When they got in range of the castle Coran was frantic, on the verge of just broadcasting distress signals to see if they might pick up on those. 

“Did you do it” He asked her when she pulled her helmet off on the bridge, she nodded and he embraced her tightly, “Your father would be so proud” She just nodded again, too overwhelmed with everything to do anything about it.

“Do we know why Keith got in with Allura?” Hunk asked. 

Thankfully Keith answered for her, “She said I can do alchemy” 

“Can you” 

“I don’t know… I’ve never tried” 

“Could you pilot the castle?” Pidge asked him. 

“I don’t know” 

The conversation continued without her, Pidge and Hunk talking about theoretical physics and the existence of white hole and pocket dimensions and things Allura didn't understand. Shiro and Keith were talking quietly about Keith’s possible heritage and such. 

“Are you okay princess” Coran asked her, his hand appearing on her shoulder. 

“Yeah, yeah i’m fine. I think I just need some rest. I’ll work with Black tomorrow, see if I can pull a location from her” 

Coran nodded, “We’re all here for you Allura, you aren’t alone” 

“Thank you” She hugged him again and headed for bed. 

In her room she changed and turned off the lights. But instead of sleeping she sat in her bed, knees pulled up to her chest. Her mind was overloaded with information. It had just...come. There was no teaching or training or anything of the sort, just a flurry of visions and the universe falling into place. 

The energy that ran through everything, controlled everything. And how it changed nothing. How the ether wasn’t a space or a time, it was a being. How time wasn't what she thought it was, it wasn't linear like it was supposed to be. But fell in moments around the ether like raindrops. 

It wouldn’t make sense if she hadn’t been shown in the way she was. Logically it couldn’t. But the universe didn’t always apply to its own rules. 

Allura fell asleep like that, contemplating the vast infinity of the universe and it’s inner workings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know way more about black holes and theoretical physics than is actually usefull in any context but yeah, I changed cannon because see. If (in theory) you were to fall into a black hole (and weren't torn part from the gravitational pull) time would warp and condense so much that you would be able to see all of space and time laid out infront of you. Hence Oriande, though it;s not history its kinda close. 
> 
> Yeah, cannon can suck my ass.


	9. Patient Files

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very sorry for the wait. Thats all I can say.

Blue paladin file.   
This experiment will be conducted in stages with the end goal of creating the Blue Paladin of Voltron into one of the best soldiers the empire has ever seen. Not only will this significantly help our forces in battle, but will deal a huge emotional blow to Voltron and their allies. 

The experiment will be conducted in stages.   
Stage 1- physical torture  
Stage 2- mental torture  
Stage 3- pressure on morals and emotional connections to allies  
Stage 4- physical modifications  
Stage o represents testing

29/3/9/9372302

Blue paladin file. Stage 1. 

Inflicted: Cuts across body, puncture wound on thigh. Whipping, pulling off fingernails, blows to torso and head. 

The Blue paladin is proving a challenge to break properly. I’ve been with him three times in the past quinent (only giving his wounds time to heal before starting again) and he hasn’t given in. His humor seems to be a defence mechanism. Despite this, I’m sure that I can break him before the high priestess comes to take over. 

He has tried to escape a couple times. Though they are all useless dashes toward the next hallway and are easily thwarted.   
-Commander Soval. 

31/3/9/9372302

Blue Paladin file. Stage 1. 

Inflicted: Iron branding in five parts. 

The idea to contact the team was an excellent strategic plan. The patient’s interactions with them only seemed to make him sadder, though their words were meant to help him. My branding is permanent and will forever mark him as property of the galra empire. He also seemed rather dramatic over the fact that he didn't know what had been done to him. This could work for future improvements. 

His escape attempts are getting somewhat elaborate. 

-Commander Soval. 

33/3/9/9372303

Blue Paladin file. Stage 2. 

Inflicted: Sensory deprivation

Sensory deprivation is to my disappointment working better than my usual methods. Though we did have to knock him out as he seemed to develop some type of hypothermia. After treating that we threw him back into the cell where he should stay until the High Priestess arrives. 

He talks to himself a lot, sometimes rationally and sometimes in a quick frenzied manor. He’s also properly broken emotionally as far as I can tell.

-Commander Soval. 

49/3/9/9372303

Blue Paladin file. Stage 2. 

Inflicted: Electroshock therapy

Electroshock therapy doesn’t work on humans as is does on other species. The Blue paladin suffers memory loss from the time in which the operation is underway, rendering it an ill-efficient device for our purposes. It does however deal the Paladin great pain and perhaps could be a disciplinary devise in lower doses. 

-High Priestess Haggar

3/4/9/9372303

Blue paladin file. Stage o

Inflicted: Gladiator ring

The Paladin was put into the gladiator pits. There his opponent recognized him and refused to end his life. The paladin was unwilling to kill it and they sat back to back for three varga before they were both taken out of the ring. 

-High Priestess Haggar  
4/4/9/9372303

Blue Paladin file. Stage 3. 

Inflicted: 

The process of altering one's soul is a difficult one. In order to keep the patient alive the whole of one's soul musn’t be removed as the life would go with it. Instead it must be split into its layers and the top few taken away and thrown into the ether. Taking the first two would render him without both his morals and his empathy. 

The problem arises in memory, as long as he possessed memory he will most likely refuse to fight alongside the galra forces as he knows that at one point he fought for the enemy. However taking memory is a much more complicated process and one that requires more resources than are available.   
-High Priestess Haggar

10/4/9/9372303

Blue Paladin File. Stage 3

Inflicted: 

We attempted to take the memory from another subject, since this process is near irreversible. They become completely useless, unable to remember who they are, who they are told they are, as well as any orders given for more than a couple of ticks. 

It seems however that the electroshock therapy does affect the human memory, enough that it is possible to ‘reprogram’ him before he is needed for missions. 

However the long term effects of this are unknown, his majesty is optimistic that it wouldn’t matter once this project is finished as any major threats could be destroyed. 

My orders are to proceed. 

-High Priestess Haggar

19/4/9/9372303

Blue Paladin File. Stage 4. 

After evaluating the subjects skill in the ring It’s been decided to first improve his reflexes. A scan of the subject shows that the nervous system is located primarily at the spine and connected to the brain at the base of the head. 

The procedure will remove his spine and replace it with an artificial one, it will automatically grow through his nervous system but will have to be manually connected to his brain. The procedure should take no more than four vargas.   
-High Priestess Haggar

 

19/4/9/9372303

Blue Paladin file. Stage o

Inflicted: Electroshock therapy and a small scale mission in which he infiltrated a difficult planets base and placed timed bombs. 

The subject performed perfectly. The new nervous system made it easy for him to counter the few attacks that came to him quickly and quietly. The mission was a success. 

It seems that his memory comes back after approximately three vargas as he broke down crying in his cell. He muttered about killing ‘innocent’ people and how disappointed his team would be.   
-High Priestess Haggar

 

37/4/9/9372303

Blue Paladin File. Stage o

Inflicted: modified gladiator ring

The patient did better than we expected in the water-modified ring, the only drawback is that he cannot stay under the water for long periods of time, making water based missions inefficient, his aim also seems to be worse, whether this is due to a water-based vision impairment or the movement of the water is unknown. 

Either way the patient will be modified with mermaid dna, giving him the ability to retain oxygen from water the issue would arises in his aim which wouldn’t improve with this alteration. 

It was also noticed that his skin is particularly soft, and therefore easily broken. To fix this he will also be modified with Silzu dna.   
-High Priestess Haggar

 

38/4/9/9372303

Blue Paladin file. Stage 4

Inflicted: Mermaid and Silzu DNA

The patient took the genetic modifications wonderfully. His skin hardened within eight vagas and though it appears that while his lungs are able to breath water it takes a moment for him to re-adjust to breathing water vs air. As well as the other way around. This will have to be fine for the time being as I don’t currently have the resources to perform that intensive of surgery. 

-High Priestess Haggar

 

45/4/9/9372303

Blue Paladin file. Stage 3

Inflicted: Video communications with Voltron

The blue paladin didn’t recognize any of his team members, which obviously dealt a large emotional blow to team Voltron. This could also provide a good source of low morale for their allies if word gets out. 

A side note is that he seems to seek out physical touch now that he doesn’t consider us bad guys. And is then repulsed by himself when he remembers. It’s quite a vicious cycle.   
-Commander Soval

 

1/5/9/9372303

Blue Paladin file. Stage o

The Blue Paladin is performing remarkably well in the ring, earning himself the title of the current Black Paladin: Champion. 

The only problem arises in our quick fix for his memory. The amnesia only lasts 74 vargas at best, and while this is continuing to improve I don’t know what long term effects it will have, and it would make the subject unusable for longer missions. 

-High priestess Haggar

8/9/9/9372303

Blue paladin file. Stage 4

After the most recent video communication I’ve decided that emotional blows to team Voltron could be a valuable weapon. With this information I have decided to add Altean genes to the subject. This will not only give him chameleon like abilities but it will also give him Altean markings which should hurt the Princess and her advisor. Perhaps even rendering them incapable of hurting him physically. 

-High Priestess Haggar

 

6/9/9/9372303

Blue Paladin file. Final thoughts. 

 

Overall the experiments were an immense success. Not only did we successfully conduct a very difficult operation and multiple gene mutations but managed to turn a former enemy into a soldier of the empire.

The emperor is very pleased and wishes to integrate him into a special unit of this type, he hopes to eventually obtain all members of Voltron in this manner. 

Vrepit Sa!

-High Priestess Haggar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that might have been immensly boring. BUT i am in no way a masochist lol and it's so very taxing for me to rite torture in the way I have especially in the more medical shit. I hve laid everything out in its technicalities and we'll see the emotional blows it dealt later :).


	10. More bullshit Science

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guess what- I'm alive. Actually forgot what happened in my own story so had to reread it. Yeah, who fuckin knows when the next one will be out. Could be ten minutes could be next week could be in five months.

When Lance had first found himself in the vast expanse of nothingness he had been terrified. There was absolutely nothing. This couldn’t be death, his heaven could never be this lonely, or… oddly muted. Like he was waking up from the cryo pod. 

Like he was missing parts of his senses. 

He… he couldn’t be in hell. That wouldn’t be fair he was trying to save the universe for fucks sake. And he hadn’t ratted out his friends, right? He couldn’t remember. 

But then again, he had killed people. Always out of necessity but still… 

It was a dangerous train of thought. 

 

Lance was already standing in the doorway when it opened; it was gladiator ring day. He stepped out, some strange part of him noting that he wasn’t cuffed. Why would he need to be happy about that? He was a soldier for the galra. 

He shook his head. 

“Hey blue” Soval chirped grinning at him, “Ready to kick some ass” 

Why was she always so happy? He nodded at her. 

She continued to talk excitedly at him while they walked down the corridor. After too long she dumped him in the armory so he could pick a weapon. He moved past the vicious blades and gadgets full of nasty tricks. 

He liked a fair fight. 

In the back was a row of guns, he chose the first one he saw. An energy assault rifle, it was familiar in his hands, sturdy and powerful. He recognized that it lacked in a certain way but after a comprehensive check he shrugged it off. 

His mind was never quite right anyway. 

 

The stars, the blue and red stars. 

Oh. 

The… whatever it was called. Where they went in the mind meld thing. Allura had explained it, something to do with souls. 

He reached out for Blue almost desperately. 

She was there, purring softly in his mind. He let himself be washed in her calm, it was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He hadn’t been able to feel her in so long. 

 

The lights in the ring were blinding for a moment and the cheering from the crowd deafening. The galra at the other end of the ring was reveling in it. Waving at the crowd and generally making a fool of himself. 

Lance shot a warning shot at him. He could have killed him right then and there. But Soval didn’t like that. She would hurt him herself if he didn’t give them a show. 

The galra turned to him then, a growl shaping his features .. He advanced on him and lance shot some lazy shots which he dodged nicely. His sword was raised by the time he got to lance swinging a fast sideways arc that would surely have taken his head off had he not ducked. 

He hooked his ankle around the other guys and yanked. Enough to offset his balance, not enough to topple him completely. Lance used the but of his gun to do that knocking the man out completely. 

A shot to his already bloodied head and he was out completely. 

Stunned silence overtook the crowd for a moment before their roaring cheers encased him. 

Lance just prepared for his next fight. He checked his gun, wiped the splattered blood from his face where it was beginning to impair his vision. 

 

Lance reveled in the ocean that Blue surrounded him with. Tears poured from his eyes and he knelt down, water soaking the knees of his kevlar suit. 

 

At the other end of the arena a vaguely humanoid alien stumbled out, Lance could practically see the fear radiating off of it’s small frame. A lazy shot was all it took to put it out of its misery. The crowd booed but the sacred ones were never any fun anyway. 

The next alien was larger; a balmeran(He wasn’t quite sure how he knew that) she held a sizable club and a determined expression. Lance grinned, that type always had a lot of fight in them. 

But the balmerans expression changed as she came closer to Lance, from it’s grim determination to something akin to elation. 

She broke into a run, Lance gripped his gun tighter. 

“Blue paladin” She put its hands up, “what are you doing here?” 

Lance didn’t put the gun down but something shifted uncomfortably in his stomach. Like he lost something. 

“Blue paladin” She called again, nerves tinting her voice. 

“I don’t know what your talking about” He shot at her, intentionally missing by a hair, enough to graze one of her spikes. She yelped and dove to the side. 

“Please,” She tried to knock the gun from his hand unsuccessfully. He should never had let her get this close but… 

Something was wrong. It was like trying to remember a dream, the feeling it left you with was there but what it was about- what had actually happened wasn't. He knew that she, somehow, knew something that he shouldn't. 

She hit him in the stomach with her club while he was distracted. 

“You're a paladin of Voltron” She raised her club over his head, “Please you’re supposed to help people.” 

It was like a punch to the gut, her words brought with them everything. He was a paladin of Voltron. He had a family on earth. And in no sane world would he ever be a soldier of the galra empire. 

 

Lance wasn’t sure how long he laid there, water soaking through his suit. He had a feeling time didn’t really apply here. 

At some point Blue nudged his mind, a gentle ‘watch’. So Lance stood, and waited. For what he wasn’t sure but Blue had never lied to him before so he watched the heavy darkness for Something. 

 

Lance struggled against the guards that carried him through the halls. He knew it was useless though, this had happened too many times. He didn’t know what they had done to him but he did know that it was bad. 

He felt… less. No remorse for the aliens that he had killed in the ring, just a simple understanding that he did what he had to do and didn’t know what he was doing at the time. He also knew that there was no way that could be normal for him. 

He was strapped to a chair, Soval leaned down in front of him. 

“Oh little Blue” She stroked his cheek, “You were doing so well” 

He spat in her face making her recoil in disgust. “Good thing I like this part just a little bit” She laughed, shoving his head back to be tied and forcing a piece of wood between his teeth. 

Lance only had a moment to be afraid once he remembered this chair before he couldn’t do anything but scream against the pain that coursed through his body. 

 

Footsteps echoed through the vast space, and Lance turned towards a grin faced Allura. She smiled when he saw her but he could tell something wasn’t right. 

Well obviously something wasn’t right. 

“You’re not dead too are you” He had tried to make it a joke but it came out completely mirthless. 

Allura shook her head, “No, neither are you it seems” 

“Come on miss exposition, tell me what’s going on” 

Allura sighed, “You were captured, you remember?” 

Anxiety ran down Lance’s spine, settling in his stomach. He nodded. 

“It seems that Haggar took a part of your soul, for what reasons I’m not sure. But I had hoped to locate you in the real world. I didn’t expect to be able to talk to you.” 

“Oh” was all he said, “I’m not sure where I am” 

“Give me a moment and I might be able to find you.” Allura closed her eyes. Her entire body glowed pink for a moment while she concentrated. 

So he was...what only half dead? Was that why he couldn’t really remember anything? None of it made any sense. 

Allura opened her eyes. “I’ve got it” She grinned at him, real this time and wrapped him in a hug. 

“We’ve all missed you so much” She whispered. 

“I’ll see you soon though” 

“We’ll still have to put your soul back together” 

“If anyone can do it you can Princess” She nodded, pulling out of the hug. 

“I’ll see you soon then” 

She was gone with that, leaving Lance- or part of him- to wander the infinite of the ether. 

He spent a lot of time talking with Blue. Sometimes he could feel Black, but she was just a presence, neither comforting or the opposite. Just there. 

 

Allura ripped the headpiece off, standing too quickly and almost falling over when the dizziness hit her. Shiro was at her arm in a moment to steady her, “Did you find him” 

She nodded, grinning again. “I know what ship he’s on at least. A research vessel close to the central command, b-4678.” 

Pidge’s eyes lit up, “The same ship that keeps docking near that balmera?” 

“Exactly the same ship.” 

“If the schedule hasn’t changed we have another varga before they go back to central” Pidge had the profile already pulled up on her laptop. 

“Then we should go” Keith interjected. 

“I, I actually agree with Keith” Hunk added, “If we know where he is then we can go get him. And we’ve liberated a balmera before when we were way less experienced.” 

“We also had five lions, we can’t just go into this situation. Especially if Haggar is involved.” 

The whole room seemed to deflate. Allura had almost forgotten about the witch in her excitement. 

“We’ll contact the baldes, see what they know and get the rebels involved if we need to. That all can be accomplished within a varga.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I use a different writing format in every chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> As always- comments literally make my day so please I need attention and validation. 
> 
> My tumblr is thegoodbitchofthewest  
> And my twitter (which i dont really know how to use) is @dumbthottt


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